Early afternoon: Buses, vans, cars, tricycles and more are lined up in front of the Vaughn Center to take people to the church downtown where people registered to vote with UT addresses must go. Maybe an exaggeration on all the modes of transport, but I heard people were giving rides. Accuracy is overrated.
5:59 p.m.: Polls are about to close somewhere. I have the sound off on the TV, but that means results should start coming in. Better start paying attention.
7:18 p.m.: CNN has someone on screen that looks like the message from Princess Leia where she ends with, “Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope.” Sound is still off, I don’t really care what they are saying.
7:29: CNN definitely has the coolest election-room technology. I wonder where I can get one of those sweet touch screens. Media Services maybe?
7:30: Oh. It looks like McCain took Kentucky and Obama took Vermont. Still not paying much attention. 8-3 McCain.
7:35: Women’s soccer is playing right now. I should probably check that out. At least I know there will be a winner at the end of the day there.
7:47: South Carolina was called for McCain by NBC. With 0 percent of precincts reporting. That’s some fine reporting there, NBC. 16-3 McCain.
8:01: Whole bunch of polls just closed. Obama takes the lead, claiming Maryland, Maine, Massachusetts, Vermont, Connecticut, New Jersey, Delaware, D.C. and Illinois. McCain gets Tennessee and Oklahoma. 77-34 Obama. Breaking news: these results surprise exactly no one. I don’t think they actually had to look at the polls in D.C. Maryland, Mass., Delaware and the Dirty Jerz. I wouldn’t be surprised to see a 60 percent for Obama come out of one of those places.
8:21: It’s been, like, 20 minutes. What’s taking so damn long? News Editor Ellery McCardle just pointed out: “Wolf Blitzer sounds like he’s never going to end the sentence.” Well, that’s better than people who, like, always sound like they’re asking a question.
8:36: Pennsylvania for Obama, or so says NBC. I think PBS is on that decision too. The Illinois Senator extends his lead, but will he have a Secretariat-like finish, or a 2007 and 2008 New York Mets-like finish? Powerhouse Vermont is now Obama’s too, and sweet home-that’s-not-my-home Alabama goes to McCain. 103-43, Obama in the lead.
8:38: It looks like Elizabeth Dole (R-N.C.) is going to be unseated. This is only newsworthy because I had no idea she was still alive, much less in the Senate. Who knew?
8:41: McCain takes Arkansas, according to ABC. ABC’s electoral count is 102-49. Someone, either ABC or NBC, is doing their math wrong here. Really glad they’re counting exit poll results, too.
8:44: NBC says Georgia for McCain. Just peachy.
8:46: This is baffling. CNN has North Dakota and Montana listed as “battleground states.” Combined they have fewer electoral votes than 38 states. How is that a battleground?
9:11: I got into an unrelated argument. Missed a lot of “calls.” Obama leads 175-76, according to ABC and NBC. CNN says 174-64. While we don’t know who the winner of the election is, we know the loser: math.
9:23: Election over. I’m calling it. Obama took Ohio. Game over.
